Hello Dear Readers,
Did you all have a wonderful Christmas? I really hope so. I hope you all had a Christmas filled with all things that make you very happy.
My Christmas was lovely. I think I enjoyed this Christmas season more then any before it. I was thinking about why that would be, the other night as I laid awake in bed listening to music and looking at my pink and white twinkle lights. This year was filled with many hardships for my family and I, but also many blessings. And somehow, though it was one of the hardest years I've faced, it was also one of the sweetest. And so though the hardships have been hard indeed it was those very hardships, I believe, that made the joys ever sweeter. The peace that comes from the closure of turmoil is ever more restful to the soul than the peace that comes from an easy time of it. So, just when I thought I had conquered, stood up strong, survived, and come out on the other side of the grand mess I realized "HA! This train ain't gonna stop!" But what I know now that I will carry with me is: I'm holding onto my ticket, riding with a few I love and trust, letting new people on board sometimes, scary as that is, and I don't really know where the heck I'm headed, and I'm going to carry some baggage, yeah, I know, but I'm going to enjoy the ride! Every second. Painful and joyous. In the dark tunnels and through the sunlit mountains.
So, as I approach the new year, there is the temptation to desire twelve months of contented bliss with out trouble or care. Buuut... those twelve months, I know, would be the emptiest of my life. Because with out the burdens born, loves lost, pains felt, choices and mistakes made, fears faced, chances taken the blessings enjoyed, the memories made, the scars healed, the new things experienced, the new feelings tasted barely mean a thing. The pain is what makes the joy so very sweet. The burdens shared with one another are what make the true loves so beautiful and comforting.
When you're not in it for perfection and your money's worth the adventure is much more grand. Being a little crazy, a little strong, a little needy, working hard and slowing down, holding hands and letting go, the balance becomes the beauty of the whole thing.
I guess to end my ramblings on what my past year means for my coming year, I say 'Carry on.' That's what I'm going to do: carry on. I'm going to carry on a midst the messes made in life and keep seeking the balance of tears and laughter. Worship wholeheartedly and be prepared to be blessed by the painful trials that will make the joys to come so sweet.
For all those who plan to carry on, do it with all your heart! Don't let the stone throwers and God's tools for making you a better person weigh you down. Let them lift you up. Lay your burdens down before we start a new year and travel in lighthearted and ready to enjoy what may prove to be a bumpy ride.
all my love,
Renee'
P.s. Later on I'll write up some of my more..hmmm... 'tangible' ideas for 2012! Can't wait 2 share them!!
